Who's

2010-03-13T02:42:00.003+08:00

“I love who i was when i'm w you. But i hate who i am now when i'm w you.”

-Me

2010-03-07T21:03:00.001+08:00

http://www.formspring.me/gotmesaying

2010-03-01T00:37:00.003+08:00

Ohi i'm back online! Will try to update SOON. & if you're observant enough, you might have notice the blog hasn't been lovey dovey for some time..... Hmmm.

2010-01-30T14:41:00.002+08:00

I think I may have lost that one person. That you want to hate but you can't because despite all the pain you love them so much. Hate is not an option. I still love you I fear I always will. I know it is mostly my fault for resisting you and putting up a barrier. Something I created out of knowing that you could break my heart in a moment. I think I may have lost you. And I just want you to know I am sorry. I just wish you could see how much I love you. And I hate myself for not showing it to you more. And now I have learned too late that barriers don't protect me they just hurt you. And that breaks my heart more then anything. I loved you right away because you saw through me and did not care how hard I made it. You were kind and generous. I love you with all my heart and I hope you can somehow forgive me for pushing you away. You made me delicate and I wake up crying thinking of how far you are. I am sorry for playing hard to get after the games were over. I love you with all my heart.

2010-01-19T00:51:00.000+08:00

2010-01-17T18:19:00.001+08:00

2010-01-16T16:58:00.001+08:00

“Love is the hardest habit to break, and the most difficult to satisfy.”

-Drew Barrymore

2009-12-28T01:19:00.003+08:00

“At the end of the day, you either focus on what separates you… or what holds you together.”

-The O.C.

2009-12-23T21:22:00.002+08:00

The one who made you cry, is the one who can make you smile to make it stop.

-Me

2009-12-20T21:06:00.001+08:00

Created a Tumblr out of boredom, might be going over.

2009-12-20T19:03:00.001+08:00

It’s hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same. It’s funny but stupid how you want everything and nothing at the same time. It’s crazy when you want to let go, you keep holding on, but when you want to move on but you’re stuck right where you started. And it’s weird how feelings come and go and you can’t decide what you want, and how you have so many things to say but you don’t know where to start.

2009-12-13T18:38:00.001+08:00

I don’t know if I love you more than you love me, I don’t know if I love you less than you love me and I don’t know if we love each other just the same. And I guess we’ll never know because there will never be an objective measure of love. But what I know is that I love you with all that I have and if that’s not enough then I’m sorry my love and my heart isn’t enough, then I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.

2009-12-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

2009-12-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

2009-12-06T06:14:00.004+08:00

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
-Bertrand Russell

Happy third month, baby boy.

2009-11-29T04:29:00.002+08:00

We've all been in love, but we never know it's not true love until it's over. So what if maybe there is no one or two or three or four or five? I mean, what if there is no such thing as true love, and we're just too afraid to admit it, so we keep on dressing up, we keep on pretending to be something that we're not. We keep turning our lives upside down, losing ourselves in something that we hope is better than what we think that we are. What if that something that we're looking for just doesn't exist?

-Boys & Girls

2009-11-25T23:13:00.001+08:00

2009-11-25T10:47:00.001+08:00

Don't expect someone to read your mind, and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust when the full truth comes out. Half truths are no better then lies. Don't be cold to someone you care about, indifference hurts more then angry words.

2009-11-17T03:17:00.003+08:00

“I need you and you don’t know how hard that is for me to accept, but it’s a whole hell of a lot easier than trying to imagine my life without you.”

-Boys & Girls

2009-11-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

For you baby, y'know i ♥ you.

2009-11-12T20:24:00.003+08:00

Help click on the ad(s) everytime you guys visit!!! Thx, ♥

2009-11-09T03:58:00.004+08:00

Love - It’s when you feel safe, just being in the person’s arms and that feeling you get when you kiss them. It’s after you’ve had a bad day, and that person is the first person you want to talk to, and when you have good news, they’re the first person you want to tell. It’s thinking about them just when you wake up, and when you go to bed at night, they’re the last thing on your mind. It’s when time seems to fly by too quickly when you’re together and you never want to go. It’s when no one else can hurt you more, but no one else can make you happier at the same time.

2009-11-06T05:30:00.003+08:00

“As soon as you start to have romantic feelings for someone, you’re fucked. You & this person are going to hurt one another. Even if you are together for the rest of your life, you’re going to feel indescribable pain. When you’re in, no matter how deep, you’re in.”

Happy 2nd month, i guess...

2009-11-04T16:03:00.002+08:00

Everytime I look at you, I feel better. It shocks me, it knocks my wind out, but it’s true. I don’t have to have sex with you, I’d be happy just to look at you from across the room. And even that, anything, any piece of you, and hopefully all of you, that’d be the best thing because I love you.

2009-10-30T19:29:00.002+08:00

Rufus: You're scared because you're in love with me like you've never been in love with any of your husbands. Because unlike a Bart Bass someone like me can actually break your heart. And I know because right now you're breaking mine.

-GG

2009-10-29T21:12:00.003+08:00

Do you remember what I was when we first met? I'd built walls around my heart, gated them, and thrown away the key. I had been hurt, I told you from the beginning. I'd been used, tricked, played with, but most of all, hurt. I thought it best to never fall in love again. So I locked my heart.

You figured it out quite soon. I said don't fall in love with me. I cannot fall in love with you. I won't. I'm too hurt, too damaged, too afraid to go through all of this once more. I'd decided love was just a scam. So we became friends, and that was okay with me, and with you. And it was all nice and comforting and I let myself trust you.

You would listen to me for hours, as we talked about everything and nothing. You learned why I wasn't willing to let anyone love me, and though you said you would never do that kind of a thing to me, I wasn't ready to trust you to test it out. I kept my walls intact even when I started remembering where I'd thrown the key. It was the only way to keep myself from falling in love.
But then something happened. I woke up three weeks ago and realised that I love you. And you said you love me, and you cannot promise we will be forever but you can promise not to hurt me. I believed you. I still didn't realize how I'd come to love you, how you came to find the key to my heart.

Now I know. You didn't find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you. Just don't break my heart.

-K (Le Love)

2009-10-29T00:15:00.003+08:00

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
-Sarah Dessen (The Truth About Forever)

i'm finally back online!!! w a slow connection & screwed keyboard, grrr. /:<

2009-10-10T17:00:00.003+08:00

“Find a guy who doesn’t get mad at you when you say he's crazy, who instead, would reply “yeah crazy over you”... I found one.”
-Me

2009-10-06T05:10:00.004+08:00

Lost the vibe to update...

2009-10-01T05:51:00.002+08:00

Looking for answers,
or some kind of sign,
So many questions,
So little time
Got to know,
before I go...

Is there more to love than just enough?
Is there more to sex than just the lust?
Is there more to me than what you feel?
Is there more to us than just what's real?

2009-09-30T07:06:00.000+08:00

2009-09-29T07:30:00.002+08:00

Henry: “I’m afraid of losing you.”
Clare smiles. “How could you lose me? I’m not going anywhere.”
“I worry that you will get tired of putting up with my undependableness and you will leave me.”
“But I never want to leave you.”
Clare puts her sketchbook aside. I sit up. “I won’t ever leave you,” she says. “Even though you’re always leaving me.”
“But I never want to leave you.”

2009-09-26T19:19:00.004+08:00

Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either, there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what’s wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take “I don’t know” for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

-eletheowl

2009-09-26T07:57:00.003+08:00

“What about you? Are you the happiest and the saddest right now that you’ve ever been?”

“Of course I am.”

“Why?”

“Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.”

-Nicole Krauss (in The History Of Love)

2009-09-22T10:40:00.002+08:00

“You know what I love most about us? I love how comfortable we are with each other. I love how we endlessly make fun of each other, but never take the teasing to heart. I absolutely adore how when I turn away from you when we’re fighting, you try to stay mad, then run after me. I love the look in your eyes when we kiss or how you stay up to watch me sleep. I love how I can call you anytime when I need someone and somehow you never cease to make me laugh. I love how you need me as much as i need you. And most of all, I love how you love me.”
-runawaytrain.tumblr

2009-09-21T03:08:00.003+08:00

The thing about you is you’re fun, you make me laugh, and you make me feel more alive. Okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes, but there are these moments in my mind, crystal-clear images of you and me and how we fit together, and it all makes such perfect sense, and I know what I want; I want you.

2009-09-19T07:32:00.002+08:00

No one gets to me the way you do,

the way you talk to me,

the way you look at me,

the way you smile at me,

I’m telling you,

no one gets to me the way you do.

2009-09-15T15:54:00.002+08:00

“I know he’s not perfect, but he trys so hard for me. And I thank God for that cause how boring would that be? It’s the little imperfections, it’s the sudden change of plans. When he misreads the directions and we’re lost. But holding hands - I live for little moments like that.”

2009-09-14T05:06:00.003+08:00

“Ultimately, I’m looking for someone I can talk to about anything and everything, who I don’t have to filter myself around, someone I can cry in front of or tell my biggest fears or most embarrassing secrets, someone who I know isn’t judging me, and who, in return, will open up to me. There’s plenty that goes on in my head that I don’t share with even my closest friends; as revealing as I may be about my sex life, I’m actually fairly private about quite a bit. It’s rare to find someone I can truly let go with, but that’s what I want in the future: someone who lets me be me.”

2009-09-12T16:12:00.001+08:00

“It’s not about being who someone else wants you to be. It’s about being completely yourself and finding someone who loves each and every bit of it. Someone who loves your laugh and your smile and the sound of your voice and the things you say. Someone who loves you even when you’re in a bad mood or when your face is red and puffy with tears.”

2009-09-10T16:28:00.002+08:00

“If you ask why I’m not interested in someone, I might say their nose is too big, or they don’t know how to dress, or they’re too thin or too fat or too plain. But the truth is, I only notice those things because of the real reason— that I’m just not feeling anything. But people don’t want to hear that. They always want an explanation. So I have to come up with something concrete even though feelings aren’t like that. If I did meet a guy and I felt happy with him for whatever reason, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass what he wore or how tall he was or what he did for a living. But when I’m with someone and it just doesn’t feel right, that’s when I start noticing the bad haircut or Chicago accent or unibrow. And it’s true that tomorrow I may go home with someone who you think is totally wrong for me. And the next day I might meet a perfectly nice guy who you think I should feel excited about, but I don’t. But if I do go home with someone, it means for a change, something feels right. For a change, I’m feeling hopeful. I just want to feel happy when I’m with someone.”

-Caren Lissner, Starting From Square Two

2009-09-09T17:47:00.002+08:00

“Just for future reference, don't use words like "love" anymore. It's a very sensitive word and it wears out quickly. Romeo barely says it, but John Hinckley filled up a whole journal with it. To put it into your terms, it's a currency that's easily devalued. Pretty soon you're saying it whenever you hang up the phone or whenever you leave. It turns into an apology. Then it's an excuse. Some assholes want it to be a bulletproof vest: don't hate me; I love you. But mostly it just means - more. More, more - give me something more. A couple of years from now, when you're on your own completely, if you really fall in love, if it really comes to that - and I pity you if it does - you have to look right down into the black of her eyes, right down into the emptiness in there and feel everything, absolutely everything she needs and you have to be willing to drown in it. You'd have to want to be crushed, buried alive. Because that's what real love feels like - choking. They used to bury some women in their wedding dresses, you know. I thought it was because all those husbands were too cheap to spring for another gown, but now it makes sense: love is your first foot in the grave. That's why the second most abused word is "forever".”

2009-09-07T07:27:00.002+08:00

“For once in my life, I don’t have to try to be happy.
When I’m with you, it just happens.”

2009-09-06T07:52:00.002+08:00

“Do you know what girls want? They want real conversations and real love. We want cute dates together, nothing expensive. The truth is we only want to be with you. We want to hold hands and lie beneath the stars. We want to be able to say something stupid and not worry about it. We want a guy that will love us for nothing but being us: plain and simple.”

2009-09-05T07:19:00.002+08:00

“Our love is a book that has been written for centuries, out of our control, and yet we get to revise it, add to it every day. We are the lucky ones. We found each other, and early at that. So don’t worry, my love, about loving me a certain amount. You are teaching me how to love and it feels a lot like learning to walk again on stiff, underused legs. But I’m learning and I’m running to you.”

-Anais Escobar

2009-09-02T06:53:00.002+08:00

I’ll always remember that night that you looked into my eyes.
You looked deep inside and found something no one ever saw.
I’ll always remember the night that we stared at each other for a little too long.
You took me as I was and never questioned my values.
I’ll always remember the night that we became more than friends.
You saw a different side of me, and I took you for all you were.

2009-08-30T15:29:00.002+08:00

“I spend 23 hours a day wondering whether we’re wrong for each other, wondering whether we’ve got the energy that we need to get through everything that we seem to get into, whether the baggage we both bring would sink a small ship. But in the 24th hour, I realize I’ve been thinking about her for 23 hours and I come back to there’s something about her, I can’t stay away from. Something about her, that makes me want to love her.”
-ER

2009-08-27T07:37:00.002+08:00

“I believe in love and lust and sex and romance. I don’t want everything to add up to some perfect equation. I want mess and chaos. I want someone to go crazy out of his mind for me. I want to feel passion and heat and sweat and madness and I want Valentines and Cupids and all the rest of that crap. I want it all.”

-The Mirror Has Two Faces

2009-08-21T07:59:00.003+08:00

“I ask myself why, and in that same breath, as I watch you, I get my answer. It’s everything about you; it’s that teasing smile, that warm scent. It’s the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. It’s just everything about you. But more than that, it’s everything about me. It’s everything about the way you make me laugh, cry, smile and hurt. It’s everything about the way you make me feel. And that’s everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go off.”

2009-08-21T07:37:00.005+08:00

Any comments,

in your own words, what Love is to you?

2009-08-20T05:13:00.001+08:00

It takes a little while to realize you love someone I think… that you can say you fell in love the moment you laid eyes on him/her. You can, I’m not a total skeptic. There are stories of age-old couples who talk about how they just knew the moment they saw, or met each other.
But it takes more than that to realize how much you truly can say you love someone. To come to terms with the thought of wanting to just be with them. For the stupidest things like wanting to sacrifice the last cheese sausage so they get to eat it (lolol & i love cheese sausages).

-pickmeadaisy.tumblr

2009-08-19T08:46:00.002+08:00

As people, we all take the time to figure out what our hearts need.

Sometimes with a little temptation and desire for the unknown, having something we don’t need can become more appealing.

-Boy Meets Love

2009-08-18T08:19:00.002+08:00

“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.”

2009-08-17T09:33:00.002+08:00

Hey readers, notice i've added the "Reactions" bar below each entry. Go ahead and let me know how you feel 'bout each entry! I love to receive comments but i don't get them often. ): But it's alright, this is easier for you guys yes. {:

xo, J

2009-08-16T11:59:00.002+08:00

“Each lover that doesn’t work gives you a new set of eyes and another piece of baggage to carry around with you. Sometimes though, some of the baggage gets taken by someone who loves you enough for the both of you.”
-Anaïs Escobar, Love Notebook #6

2009-08-14T17:11:00.002+08:00

“I wanted to be the person he told things to. I wanted him to think I was pretty, I wanted him to be reminded of me by stuff I liked- pistachios and hooded sweatshirts and the Dylan song Girl from the North Country- and I wanted him to miss me when we were apart. I wanted him to feel, when we were lying in bed together, like he couldn’t imagine anywhere better.”
-Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep

2009-08-14T07:30:00.002+08:00

“I like people listening when I speak,
I like surprises, I'm a typical girl who wants
everything my way, I know I'm so difficult,
I do everything you tell me not to.
But have faith in me, I'm still learning,
I do want to be a much better person for you.”
-tightfitt.lj

100th entry

2009-08-11T05:57:00.002+08:00

“I don’t want to go out there and meet new people. I don’t want to. I’m tired of it. I’m tired and I’m scared. I already got my heart broken one too many times. I’m not ready to hand it out again. I guess what I’m afraid of is that I’ll find someone new, and fall in love with them, and then get hurt again. I don’t want to go through that. I really don’t. I mean, I do want someone to love and to be by my side, but I’m just afraid of falling in love again. I’m a walking contradiction: I want to fall in love, but at the same time, I don’t want to experience the hurt and pain that is associated with it.”

2009-08-09T02:58:00.002+08:00

“I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we’re alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.”

-Paulo Coelho

2009-08-06T06:13:00.002+08:00

“I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in the one of the most beautiful cities in the world, we might as well have fun when we can, and save the serious stuff for later.”
-500 Days of Summer

2009-08-02T01:52:00.004+08:00

“She’s not like that now. She knows better. She knows now that people lie, and promises can be broken as quick as they are made. She understands that she might never be loved, and too quickly good things fly in front of your eyes before you can reach out and grab them. She knows that you can’t change or help time, so every now and then it will just run out. There isn’t a place for everyone in the world, so if you’re standing alone for awhile, that’s why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that’s when it’s the best. You can’t always expect people to care, and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don’t think for one minute that they didn’t already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. She has found out too soon, that in the end, you are your own best friend. Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not, its gonna hurt like hell. But you can’t stop it. You can’t change your fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge. You don’t know what it is and when it happens, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words ‘Life’ and ‘Risk’ won’t mean anything to you anymore. But don’t try and change that. Stuff like that is meant to happen. Overtime, certain things no longer have an affect on you. And that happens because that’s the way it supposed to be. But you’ll learn all that later in life when little things like a sunrise or a spring rain start to matter. But it might catch you off guard and happen sooner.”

2009-07-29T01:41:00.003+08:00

“Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.”

-Dirty Dancing

2009-07-26T05:08:00.001+08:00

“We knew the pain of winter wind rushing up your skirt, and the ache of keeping your knees together in class, and how drab and infuriating it was to jump rope while the boys played baseball. We could never understand why the girls cared so much about being mature, or why they felt compelled to compliment each other, but sometimes, after one of us had read a long portion of the diary out loud, we had to fight back the urge to hug one another or to tell each other how pretty we were. We felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn’t fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.”

-The Virgin Suicides, Jeffrey Eugenides

2009-07-24T04:29:00.001+08:00

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.

Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.

Harry Burns: When did I say that?

Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.

Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.

2009-07-22T09:08:00.002+08:00

“I’ll pretend that you mean the weather when you ask me how things are. I’ll say cold and dry.”

-I Wrote This for You

2009-07-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

“I’m for free love, and I’m in free fall. This could be love or nothing at all.”
-The Magnetic Fields

2009-07-19T03:12:00.005+08:00

I never saw it happening

I'd given up and given in

I just couldn't take the hurt again

What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight

Suddenly you seemed so right

Me and you

What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul

Love burns brighter than sunshine

Brighter than sunshine

Let the rain fall, i don't care

I'm yours and suddenly you're mine

Suddenly you're mine

And it's brighter than sunshine

-Aqualung/Brighter Than Sunshine

2009-07-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

2009-07-13T17:29:00.000+08:00

“Just like you mistook lust for love, you have mistaken being alone with loneliness. So I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

-I Wrote This For You

2009-07-09T16:13:00.004+08:00

“I wish someone would tell me something incredibly profound. I wish my heart would beat beat beat in time with theirs and things I want to say wouldn’t get caught in my throat like my hair gets caught in my fingers and ties itself into knots. I wish the voice in my head didn’t say the things it does, because of all the people I can trust in the world I shouldn’t be one of them. That’s why I listen to music louder than the sounds of the late-night television programs like poker competitions and bad films starring bad actors. And in the middle of the cacophony of sounds the only thoughts I can hear are the singer’s, the whisperer’s, the poet’s, infinitely better and wiser. Wiser even than the stars. I bet they don’t trust themselves either. I bet lots of people don’t when they’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and felt a heartbreak or three. Boys didn’t break my heart you know, I did. I break it all the time. I’m breaking it right now and I don’t even know why.”

2009-07-06T04:00:00.002+08:00

“Perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved, that is, we demand something (love) from our partner instead of delivering ourselves up to him demand-free and asking for nothing but his company.”

-Milan Kundera

2009-07-02T06:46:00.001+08:00

“I felt like I had to get out of there because I might really care about you, and it scared me so much because that meant that you could hurt me.”
-Halley Martin (Mandy Moore), How To Deal

2009-06-30T17:58:00.001+08:00

“I’ve closed my heart down, so many seasons. I didn’t want to hurt again, I didn’t want to try, so I turned myself to ice and stone, said I don’t need anyone, and nobody else would ever make me cry.”

-Beth Nielsen Chapman, Maybe it’s Love

2009-06-29T18:13:00.002+08:00

“In my whole life, everything is all or nothing - and obsessively romantic. I’m interested in how things feel, how it would feel if you were there and you were lying in a chair looking up at the ceiling, and how it would smell and how the flowers would look and things like that.”

-David Collins

2009-06-28T20:56:00.000+08:00

In Lust

2009-06-22T20:12:00.003+08:00

“Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.”
-Good Will Hunting

2009-06-21T04:03:00.002+08:00

“You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It’s like no matter what you did, it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly left thinking that you’ll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves.”

-JoAnne Golden

2009-06-20T09:47:00.005+08:00

1.3 mp
7.1 mp

2009-06-18T03:45:00.001+08:00

Why me, I whisper, because it’s so quiet in the room with only the rain and speaking too loud could ruin it. What do you mean? he is asking. I prop my chin up on his chest and look at him. Do you like me? He smiles, and I can see he is confused. Of course I like you. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. Why do you think I spend so much time beside you? He says it quietly and he is looking out the window. So why me, I am asking him again. Why do you like me. He doesn’t answer. I lie back next to him so we are both looking at the ceiling and his arm is wrapped around my shoulders from behind. Do you really want to know? He sighs. Yes. I shiver. I like you because you work at a plant store. I like you because when you think no one else is around, you talk to the flowers. You take the ones that are abandoned or moved out of their place and you put them where they belong, because you don’t want them to be alone. I like you because you wear that pink apron when you cook for me and you look cute. He smiles. I don’t have to look at him to know, I can feel it. I like you because sometimes you leave me in bed at night to wash the dishes in the sink. And you come back to bed smelling like soap. I like you because you sleep here with me so that I will know you are safe. I like you because you are fragile, and I like you because I need to take care of someone and I think I can take care of you. That’s why.

2009-06-17T20:12:00.002+08:00

One day i’d love to sit down and talk to you about everything you are thinking and feeling, big or small. And i want you to be honest, i don’t want this facade/pretend outer exterior of a being, of which i am not sure is really you. and after, i want us to sip tea with lemon and honey and nibble on cookies while we think about what you’ve shared. Then i want to tell you everything too, and i don’t want you to judge me, i just want you to listen and understand me, and then give me a hug and make me feel like you actually care.

2009-06-17T00:35:00.001+08:00

You can't love someone for what they stand for or seem to be. You have to love them for their details, for the little things that are true of them and only them.

2009-06-15T19:12:00.003+08:00

More than Friends, Less than Lovers.

2009-06-13T22:32:00.001+08:00

“He reached for her hand. “I don’t want to lose you.” His voice was almost in a whisper. She could feel the tears again, and she fought them back. “But you don’t want to keep me either, do you?” To that, he had no response.”

-The Rescue by Nicholas Sparks

2009-06-12T05:50:00.001+08:00

2009-06-11T20:46:00.002+08:00

“I’ve always loved night trains and their magic: it’s the perfect opportunity to create an encounter in suspended time. I really liked the idea of a woman meeting a man. They both think about each other, but continue on with their own lives, left with the regret that they didn’t make contact with the other person. I love to play with destiny and coincidences… I knew that the story would revolve around the mesmerizing effect of the scent in the woman’s wake. We had to give voice to the intangible.”
-Jean-Pierre Jeunet

2009-06-10T04:37:00.000+08:00

2009-06-07T19:02:00.002+08:00

“The only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only thing that won’t change when everything else does.”

2009-06-06T07:45:00.002+08:00

“It’s not okay that you hurt me, but I am okay. I deserve more, and I know that now. And maybe you knew that inside, that you couldn’t give me that yet. So you set me free. We would’ve been so great, you would never have wished for more than I would’ve given you. But you never gave it a chance. So now you’ll never know what could’ve been. Maybe someday you’ll regret it, maybe someday you’ll think it was the best decision you ever made, but maybe someday you’ll see me walking, smiling and happy, alongside someone who’s also smiling and happy because he has my heart. Maybe then you’ll stop and realize what you’re missing, because someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go...”

2009-06-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

2009-06-01T20:03:00.001+08:00

2009-05-31T19:30:00.001+08:00

2009-05-31T04:52:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I get swept up with the intensity of how feelings change... Knowing a person all your life, loving with all you have and then getting hurt badly. Then you look at them today and you feel... Absolutely nothing. No anger, no pain, no lingering feelings... Nothing.

2009-05-29T03:45:00.000+08:00

2009-05-27T04:28:00.000+08:00

2009-05-21T06:02:00.001+08:00

“Well as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you’re making out, but for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone… making out.”

-Dashboard Confessional

2009-05-20T03:07:00.001+08:00

“I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I’ll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.”

-Sex and the City

2009-05-18T20:12:00.001+08:00

“The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that.”

-The Notebook

2009-05-17T17:03:00.003+08:00

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone.

You get used to not expecting phone calls & having nothing to do at night.

You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer.

The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence.

Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with.

All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

2009-05-17T06:36:00.002+08:00

I quite frankly don’t know what men are attracted to anymore. I just don’t know. I guess i missed the lesson on how to grab a male without severe trust and detachment issues. I guess also part of the blame should be put on myself. I always go for the guys that i know are wrong for me, that are blantanly wrong for me, and then i always end becoming too attached… like that saying i guess, “you wear your heart on your sleeve.” I wear my fucking heart on my forehead. And apart of me likes being single, no doubt, being able to judge and critize on the pathetic in relationships of their own is so much fun. But i don’t know, i would like to drop the whole cold hearted bitch act, and try to believe that something will work. To believe in someone. It’s so hard these days trying to find a successful relationship. It really is. And maybe i am whining a little bit, which is why i never was successful at this whole “spill your heart out through your blog” shit. I don’t know. Reflections, reflections how i fucking loathe them so.

-crack-n-berries

2009-05-14T20:40:00.002+08:00

“Sometimes I wonder if anything’s absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation. Sometimes we’re forced to bend
the truth, transform it, cause we’re faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us.”

-One Tree Hill