She finds love in all the wrong places

The same situations just different faces.

Oh.

Have you felt so brutally beaten inside. Missed someone that you wish you could pull them out of your mind and hug them for real. Love turn into Hate. Why this slow pain could kill you so fast. Felt so pathetic all you could do was watch from afar. Killing someone with words. When you push someone away when all you want to do is pull them closer. When this particular person who means so much to you comes by, you hold on because that's normal human reaction to keep those you love close but what if it just makes you wanna push the person away because he/she carries the key to your heart and you're afraid you'll fall to deep and before you know it, there's no fairytale ending. Because you're so fragile when you're open you'll rather keep closed. Love is Not Blind, it's just that because it's willing to see less of some and more of some. You tell yourself you're just thinking too much, you're being silly, but something slaps you hard across the face to drown yourself in reality. You fight with your demons

and you

The worst kind of pain is not knowing the cause of it, but knowing it's right there inside, right there, hitting you hard.

Crawl into your head, crawl into your bed.

- xanga/odeuseamor

Nothing seems real anymore.

Your heart is closing up and you aren't even aware of it
As if I could meet you again tomorrow, like anytime, I hope you could look back
Before all the things I've seen with you become memories.

I love you but I can’t be with you is the line of a coward.

It should be: I love you and I’ll do everything just to be with you because being with you is worth it.

If you really want someone, there is no excuse.

I want desperately for you to prove me wrong; for you to exceed all of my expectations and then scold me for ever doubting you, because, for once, I don’t want to say “I told you so.” I can’t
handle another disappointment.

Was it love or was it just easy?

“If someone wants you, nothing can keep them away.

If someone doesn’t want you, nothing can make them stay.”

“I often find it hard to cope with the days when words are not enough. I can say I love you and I do. I can say I adore you and I do. I can tell you that you are precious to me and you are. But on the days when words are not enough, I would like to reach out and gently brush my fingertips across your cheek. On the days when words are not enough, I would like to kiss you softly and gently. On the days when words are not enough, I would like to wrap my arms around you and never let you go. Only then, when I can hold your hand will I feel that maybe, just maybe, you can see how much you mean to me.”

Does this help you understand why?

When you’re not face to face, when you’re far away, you can create your own false barriers to block a chance at happiness because you’re afraid of the “what if’s”; the complications; the lingering disappointment or fear created from past relationships, even the fear of what something new might lead to because of that past. Every relationship presents a risk, but the real risk is the other person. It’s knowing that person is reliable, genuine, honest, just worth the risk that matters. But it’s also believing enough in who you are, believing you bring enough to the table that you are worth the risk in return. Accepting that someone feels we are worth it makes us acknowledge a connection, something that has nowhere to go but closer.

You were lonely and you needed a friend

And he was there at the right time with the right smile

Just a shoulder to lean on

Someone to tell you it'll all work out alright

Don't let him steal your heart away.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… We are in charge of our Attitudes.”

-Charles R. Swindoll

“It turned out he wasn’t in love with me like I thought. What I’m trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible and how it can ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join or glasses of champagne you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could’ve misunderstood and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door and after all that however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new and you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again and it’ll be as though your soul will finally come back and all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted that will eventually begin to fade.”

It's a vicious cycle isn't it...

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see

The love you don't feel when you're holding me

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't.

“I had tender feelings that you made hard, but it’s your heart, not mine that’s scared. So when I go home I’ll be happy to know that you’re just somebody that I used to know.”
-Elliott Smith

“Only the young and stupid are confident about sex and romance. Do you think any of us know what we’re doing? Do you think there’s any way humans can love each other without complication?
You should see how it happens in Bali, darling. All these Western men come here after they’ve made a mass of their lives back home, and they decide they’ve had it with Western women, and they
go marry some tiny, sweet, obedient little Balinese teenage girl. I know what they’re thinking. They think this pretty little girl will make them happy, make their lives easy. But whenever I see it
happen, I always want to say the same thing. Good luck. Because you still have a woman in front of you, my friend. And you are still a man.

It’s still two human beings trying to get along, so it’s
going to become complicated. And love is complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart.
It means we have tried for something.

-Eat. Pray. Love. by Elizabeth Gilbert