Sometimes I get swept up with the intensity of how feelings change... Knowing a person all your life, loving with all you have and then getting hurt badly. Then you look at them today and you feel... Absolutely nothing. No anger, no pain, no lingering feelings... Nothing.

“Well as for now I’m gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you’re making out, but for me I wish that I was anywhere with anyone… making out.”

-Dashboard Confessional

“I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I’ll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.”

-Sex and the City

“The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that.”

-The Notebook

I guess to some extent, you get used to being alone.

You get used to not expecting phone calls & having nothing to do at night.

You don’t expect to turn around to open arms any longer.

The small sounds of him have been replaced by silence.

Your thoughts echo through your head, with no one to share them with.

All in all, being alone isn’t terrible, it just hurts like hell.

I quite frankly don’t know what men are attracted to anymore. I just don’t know. I guess i missed the lesson on how to grab a male without severe trust and detachment issues. I guess also part of the blame should be put on myself. I always go for the guys that i know are wrong for me, that are blantanly wrong for me, and then i always end becoming too attached… like that saying i guess, “you wear your heart on your sleeve.” I wear my fucking heart on my forehead. And apart of me likes being single, no doubt, being able to judge and critize on the pathetic in relationships of their own is so much fun. But i don’t know, i would like to drop the whole cold hearted bitch act, and try to believe that something will work. To believe in someone. It’s so hard these days trying to find a successful relationship. It really is. And maybe i am whining a little bit, which is why i never was successful at this whole “spill your heart out through your blog” shit. I don’t know. Reflections, reflections how i fucking loathe them so.

-crack-n-berries

“Sometimes I wonder if anything’s absolute anymore. Is there still right and wrong? Good and bad? Truth and lies? Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation. Sometimes we’re forced to bend
the truth, transform it, cause we’re faced with things that are not of our own making. And sometimes things simply catch up to us.”

-One Tree Hill

“I know exactly how that is. To love somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Because they are all you have. Because any attention is better than no attention. For exactly the same reason, it is sometimes satisfying to cut yourself and bleed. On those gray days where eight in the morning looks no different from noon and nothing has happened and nothing is going to happen and you are washing a glass in the sink and it breaks-accidentally-and punctures your skin. And then there is this shocking red, the brightest thing in the day, so vibrant it buzzes, this blood of yours. That is okay sometimes because at least you know you’re alive.”

-Running With Scissors

“I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want… a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”

-Shana Abe

“Because I love her… and I can’t make her happy...”

Melt.

“It’s better to cross the line and suffer the consequences, than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life.”

Lovin' it though.

It’s a long lonesome circle of us coming and staying

And going our opposite ways

At least the quiet nights are easier than these sunny empty days

‘Cause at least when I’m sleeping I can dream of you keeping me safe

Or of a someday so far that when I asked you, you’d finally stay

‘Cause as much as you lead, you know that I’ll follow

If today you come running,

I know that tomorrow you could walk away from me in a second flat

But if I ever left you, I’d always come back

‘Cause I’m that kind of woman and you’re that kind of man.